Francesca Farago and Jesse Sullivan: Why We Documented Our Queer IVF Journey

Influencer couple Francesca Farago and Jesse Sullivan have been documenting getting pregnant with twins via IVF on social media. For PS's Radical Honesty issue, they discuss why it's important to be open about their journey as a queer couple. Read more radically honest stories here.

Francesca Farago: We didn't just have sex and get pregnant. I've used over a thousand needles, I've put my body through all this stress, you put your body through stress. Eight months of our lives, eight months of not being able to live normally, to get this far — there's so much riding on everything going smoothly.

Jesse Sullivan: Although we intentionally did this and we put so much blood, sweat, and tears into making this happen, once I started seeing the heartbeats on the screen and everything, it felt so real. It sounds so real, because obviously I knew this was going to happen, but it hits you so hard: it's like, we're bringing human beings into this world together.

FF: For me, creating a community of women who have gone through the same thing has been really lovely. I've been really active on Snapchat, and I post how I'm feeling that day or what I'm going through, and I'll get hundreds of reassuring comments from women who have gone through the same thing. And I think it's important to share it because our journey hasn't been shared before. A queer couple doing IVF and being so public about it — I've never seen someone do that. I think it's important for awareness and acceptance and for people to see that we had to go through some extra steps, but we're a regular family as well. It's really important. And also for younger queer kids to know that they can have a life like us. People don't think that it's possible.

JS: Yeah, what Francesca said, as a queer couple telling this story — but more specifically, a trans couple. These sorts of things are so specific to us, and I've never seen a story told like this. Especially right now in the political climate, trans people are so targeted, so I think it's really important. The kinds of messages I've gotten are, like, from a 15-year-old saying, "I didn't ever think I could have a family. You've shown me I can have a family." It's like those simple things that you think all kids should be able to think growing up, and they don't get that.

FF: We're obviously going to be very protective when the babies get here. You want to protect your family, but you also want to be advocating for families like ours. It's a thin line of what to show and what not to show, because it's vulnerable moments that you're sharing.

Jump back to the Radical Honesty issue.

Lena Felton is the senior director of features and special content at POPSUGAR, where she oversees feature stories, special projects, and our identity content. Previously, she was an editor at The Washington Post, where she led a team covering issues of gender and identity.