How to Handle Rejection Without Completely Spiraling, According to an Expert

Updated on May 17, 2023 at 6:35 PM

Being rejected is never easy, especially when it comes to dating. In a world where situationships are the norm, everyone is on the dating apps, and trends like "fizzling" exist, it's no wonder you may not want to put yourself out there at all. But unfortunately, rejection is simply a part of life and something that most people have to experience in order to find what they're looking for.

Though it may hurt and make you feel like you're not good enough, rejection is often just a sign that something was not right for you. And really, rejection can be used as a cue to actually help you move on to what is right for you.

But before you get to a place of understanding the rejection, it's likely you might have to work through all the emotions that come from the rejection in the first place. Fortunately, with the help of an expert, we're curated a list of tried-and-true tips that will help you process rejection and move on from the situation without spiraling into deep feelings of insecurity.

Keep reading for expert advice on how to deal with rejection while dating. You've got this.

— Additional reporting by Taylor Andrews

Let Yourself Feel the Pain

It's to be expected that being rejected will most likely hurt. "The first step to handling rejection is just to acknowledge that it hurts, it sucks, and it is no fun," Amanda K. Lopez, LMFT, tells POPSUGAR. "It can be a big blow to your ego and self-esteem, so make sure to take care of yourself and your thoughts." By acknowledging that it's happened, you can start to work through the rest of your emotions.

Talk to Someone About It

It can be easy to get caught up in your own thoughts when you're rejected. You might be wondering if you did something wrong or why you might have been rejected in the first place. "Give yourself the space to grieve and feel the sadness, then find someone you can trust and talk it through," Lopez says. Whether that person is a family member, friend, or therapist, they can help you understand that rejection just happens, and it doesn't necessarily mean you did anything wrong.

To help, here are some beginner tips for finding a therapist, if interested.

Use Positive Affirmations

While dealing with rejection, you might be having negative thoughts like, "Why am I not good enough?" or "What did I do wrong?" And though it's natural to feel such emotions after a negative experience like rejection, Lopez suggest reframing these thoughts in a positive light in order to avoid being stuck in a rut.

"Make sure to catch those negative thoughts and replace them with kind words toward yourself like, 'It just wasn't meant to be, but I'll find my person' or 'I am good enough and worthy of great love,'" Lopez says. "These positive affirmations can make a huge difference, even though they seem so simple."

Dust Yourself Off, and Move Forward

Being rejected in any aspect of life can make you want to throw in the towel, but that doesn't mean you need to stop believing in love or close yourself off from others. Lopez explains that there's power in being vulnerable, and just because it didn't work out this time doesn't mean you'll never find someone else in the future.

"You had the courage to put yourself in a position to be rejected, so you have the courage to continue because finding companionship, friendship, and/or love is always worth the risk," she says.

Handling rejection is a process, and the harder the rejection, the longer it may take to get over it. But if you allow yourself time to feel sad, you'll slowly move through your emotions in a productive way that allows room for growth.